“Your ability to cope, life experiences, what was modeled by those around you and the implicit and explicit messages you received while you were growing up related to gender, race, culture, society, socioeconomic status, familial expectation and so many more variables can play a role in how a person approaches (or doesn't approach) conflict,” says psychotherapist Lillyana Morales, L.M.H.C.

And you can learn a lot about yourself based on how you respond when presented with a potential showdown. If you're the type to avoid confrontation as much as possible, it doesn’t mean you don’t ever stand up for yourself - it just means that asserting what you need might not be your first instinct.

It happens often: your boss has asked you to do something you really don’t have time for (and is definitely outside of your job description), but you figure you’ll update that spreadsheet anyway because really, why argue? When faced with confrontation, your mind repeats “cool” about five thousand times in Jake Peralta’s voice, because the rest of your body is Amy Santiago-ing - must not upset your superior officer at any cost.

I hate conflict quotes